That 90's Show
by EffieCait29
Summary: Set in 1994. What if things happened a little differently? A/U Extremely out of character.
1. Who am I?

**This is A/U and WAY OoC**

 **Instead of finding Jackie with Kelso in Chicago, Hyde takes off when Jackie gives him the ultimate. He takes off and a day later Jackie finds she's pregnant. After 2 months of being mistreated by Hyde and Donna Jackie leave point place.**

 **The beginning may move fast but bare with me I haven't written FF in a while.**

 **LOLLY**

December 18th 1987

Also known as the day my world turned upside down. The day I found out my father wasn't really my father.

It was nearly a week until Christmas and my parents had gone out shopping again. They had my Aunt Sage come stay with me while they were out per usual. Sage had always been the cool aunt, she always let me do what I wanted so long as I didn't get hurt. Mom and Dad met Sage when we first moved to New York, she owned the apartment we all lived in. Me, Mom, Dad, Sage, Jim, Max and Pru. Since then though they've just all become aunts and uncles.

The night before I had concocted a plan. I was going to sneak down to our storage unit after they left and peek at my Christmas presents. It was foolproof. I told Sage I was going to see Harvey our door man. Harvey was like a grandfather to me, I had known him as long as I could remember, so she was okay with it. When I got to the unit it was dark and scary which normally would have me running back up the stairs but I was too excited. Once inside I began right away.

I started with the boxes to the left and worked my way back and over. I had been in there for what must have been 30 minutes and had come up empty handed. Frustrated I tossed a basketball off to the side and a box fell from one of the taller stacks. I hurried over to it and bent down, the first thing I saw was a suction bag with a cheerleaders uniform in it. I picked it up and underneath it was the lid to the box. On it was the initials P.P.W curious I turned to the overturned box and pulled it up carefully. The remnants scattered in front of me, photos and papers foreign to me. The first thing to catch my eye was a picture of my mom. She was standing in front of a black car, between a guys legs. He had his arm wrapped around her as she leaned into him. I flipped the photo over and on the back in my moms hand writing was 'Steven and I, 1979' with a big heart beside it. I put it down and picked up another photo, it had my mom and the guy along with four other people. They were sitting together in what looked like a basement. On the back it said 'The Gang, 1978'. The rest of the photos were all of my mom and 'the gang' or my mom and Steven. After the photos I started going through the papers.

The first was a magazine article that was published by Woman's Weekly and was written by Donna Pinciotti-Forman, who I recognized from the photos.

The next clipping was from the Milwaukee gazette, It was a picture of a cop who was also from the pictures, it said 'Police officer Michael Kelso saves woman in Milwaukee'. The other papers were of the same people in the pictures life achievements. Once I got through them I picked up a book that was in the box and opened it. Upon opening it I realized it was a scrapbook on the inside cover was note it said:

 _My Darling Lolly,_

 _I don't think you could ever understand how much I truly love you. From the very moment I found out I was going to have you in my life I couldn't understand how I had ever lived without you. You're my life, the one thing I will always go down fighting for. Also your father. He has loved you since the moment he saw you and committed himself to being the best dad he could possibly be. He loves you more than life itself, as do I. No matter what you feel or think after seeing and reading the contents of this book, know you are our whole world. You are our baby girl._

 _-Mama_

I read it over and over trying to make my 10 year old brain imagine what could be in this scrapbook that could make her write something so cryptic. However after turning to the first piece of content I knew. The first thing was my birth certificate. At that moment I was thankful that my mom had started me with; early development. I was grateful I had learned to read and write almost two years before my peers, that she had instilled in me the importance of a good education early and that I had skipped ahead a year in school and was still in gifted classes. I was thankful because I knew what I read, I understood it immediately. The only confusion came from emotion. On my birth certificate was first the name 'Charlotte Camilla Hyde' instead of 'Charlotte Camilla Lennox' I moved down the certificate slowly trying to hold back the rising pain in my stomach. When I got to the father column I gripped the book tighter. So tight they started to go numb as I read it 'Father: Steven Hyde' I dropped the book and shook my head back and forth after a few minutes and a lot of 'nos' I had convinced myself to pick it back up. I slowly flipped through a few more pages. They were of Mom and him, Steven. My father.

They were about his life their life before me and then his life since I've been born. Mom had obviously been keeping up with his and the others ongoings through the years. He is part of a record company and had been married twice but neither had worked out. then at the end was a long letter from my mom explaining everything. She told me how it had been had for her growing up and then in the last year in Pointe Place had been the hardest and when she found out she was pregnant with me there was so much stress she was afraid she would lose me so she left. She told me how she met Jude, my dad two months after I was born and he had become her best friend she said that he was there for her through it all. She told me that they eventually settled and that everything just happened. She hadn't planned on hiding the truth from me, that one day I just started calling Jude daddy and it all fell into place a year later they got married and Jude adopted me.

With out knowing it I had fallen asleep and was woken by a soft whimper. I opened my eyes to see my mom above me. My head was on her lap and she was petting my head gently. When I saw she was crying I hugged her tightly. She told me she hadn't expected this to happen so soon. We talked for what seemed like hours after that, she told me about her childhood and the gang. She had never spoke of her childhood before and it was nice knowing that side of her for once.

After I found out mine and Dad's relationship started changing. First he told me he loved me every time he saw me then he started asking if I was okay and if there was anything I wanted to talk about. After I turned 13 we began drifting apart, I hardly talked to him. I loved him and I always would, no matter how many fathers I had he would always be my daddy, but we were different.

Now it was 1994 I was 14 and everything was changing again. Not just for me though, but for everyone Mom, Dad, and my little brother River who we called Rhys. One night we got home from school Mom and Dad sat us down after Dinner, which had been quiet and nerve wracking because mom had baked all day, Mom ONLY baked a lot when there was bad news.

They us sat across from them in the living room with them staring at us, then Mom finally started. She took a deep, long breath and said 'We are getting a divorce.' It hit me like a 10 tons of bricks. It came out of nowhere, they never fought. We never heard them fight, not once. Then they started trying to explain. 'We still love each other very much and we will always loved you more than anything.' Than the 'Non of this is your fault! Our relationship has just run it's course' and 'We are still and will always be a family. The four of us.'

That was it. We were over. Dad moved out slowly, first few nights he stayed in the guest room then he got his own apartment.

I started keeping a closer eye on River after realizing he was probably a 'trying to save the marriage' baby, though he seemed to be enjoying the divorce more than the rest of us. Mom threw herself into work and into our lives trying to act happy for us, trying to help us adjust. Rhys of course bought it, but I knew better. No one on this Earth knew my Mom better than I did. I knew she was in pain. I had a feeling the end of their marriage was mostly my Dad's decision. He was a wreck too, but for different reasons he had decided to open his own art gallery and spent most of his time setting it up. When we went to see him we would paint or play games but that was it, he was too busy to spend time with us most days. I knew he was worried I thought badly of him, he was always asking me if I wanted to talk or if I had any questions, but I'd just shake my head.

It had been five months since the separation. We spent weekends with dad at his loft. Last night he took us to dinner and introduced us to his new girlfriend. New girlfriend? They had only been apart 5 months! I was livid, though I didn't let it show. No I waited until I got back home with mom and let it out. We stayed up until 3 in the morning she let me yell and scream and we ended the night sitting on her bed watching My Fair Lady and eating her homemade Peach and Lavender ice cream which has always been a comfort food for me.

About an hour later she drifted off to sleep holding me. I love her so much it hurt sometimes to think how much she's hurting to think about the lonely life she's had and how she just wanted a real family of her own, and now she lost dad and as much as I hated to do it, she was about to lose me too.

I untangled myself from her and tiptoed to my room. Once in there I pulled out my luggage bag and put a few clothes in it. Then I grabbed the money I had been saving for a new guitar and pulled out a pen and note pad.

 _Mama,_

 _I'm sorry to do this to you, this way but I know you would never let me do this if I asked, and I do need to do this. I need to find him, Mom. I need to know that part of who I am. I need to know him. He's apart of me too he's in me and he doesn't even know I exist, at the very least I need to know that he knows I'm alive. I love Dad, but the truth is and he knows this too I haven't looked at him the same since I found out and vice versa. I need to do this. I'm sorry if this hurts you but know I'm smart and capable of getting there safely. I love you and I'll call you soon. Tell Rhys I love him._

 _-Lolly_


	2. Who are you?

It took less than one day to get to Pointe Place, Wisconsin. Once I got there I went to the bus station bathroom to clean up. I changed into jeans and what was once his Led Zeppelin t shirt, which I wore to sleep in nearly every night of my night. After I finished I asked for directions to Grooves and headed that way.

I spent the entire walk thinking about what I'd say to him. I went over every scenario until I was suddenly standing in front of the door. I stood there for what felt like forever until my hand reach to the door handle. I opened it and walked in and my eyes landed on him. My breath became uneven as I took him in. He was leaning on the counter reading a magazine. He was wearing a button down shirt and his hair was cut shorter than the pictures and he was older, more mature. I walked slowly up to the counter and stood in front of him.

"Can I-" He started then stopped when he saw me. I knew instantly that he saw Mom in me. He's eyes were huge and his jaw was slack. His eyebrows furrowed and had a pained expression crossed his features.

"Hello." I said way quieter than I thought.

"Uh, can, can I help you?" He asked.

"I uh. Yes. I was looking for the new Nirvana." I said folding my arms on the counter.

He ran his hand through his hair and blow a hard. "Uh yeah." He said then looked at my shirt. "Nice shirt." He said.

I smiled brightly. "Oh thanks, my mom gave it to me when I was 5! I slept in it every night." I confessed feeling stupid.

He shook his head "Uh-huh. Whats your name, kid?" He asked

"Lolly or well Charlotte actually but my aunt, well not really my aunt just my moms best friend um, but I've known her my whole life. Her son couldn't pronounce Charlotte so he called me Larlotte and then just Lolly. So yeah, Lolly. My names Lolly" I babbled.

He looked at me like I was crazy and we stood in silence for a minute. "And uh, you're Steven Hyde." I told him.

"Yeah.. I am and why do you know that. Who do you belong to?" He asked looking around.

"Well…" I hesitated while I looked for a cover story but instead, "You actually." I blurted out then laughed.

He opened his mouth, shut it, opened it, looked away then shut it again. "I'm sorry, excuse me?" He said, with his hands on his hips.

I reached in my pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. I stopped before I handed it to him. "When I came in and you saw me, you thought I was someone else for a minute. Someone you loved, right? Someone you haven't seen in 15 years?" I asked handing him the paper.

He looked at me as he took it and then finally unfolded the paper. He stared at it a good 15 minutes before he even moved an inch. When he finally looked up he looked shocked, devastated and terrified all at once.

"Look, I didn't mean to spring it on you so fast, I meant to take tiny steps to it, but I'm 14 things just kind of slip out." I said.

He still continued to stare at me.

"Um, you know I have no problem taking a DNA test, but I can tell you Mom wouldn't have kept the fact that I had another dad to herself if you weren't the biological one." I rambled.

He came around the desk walking past me to the couch and sat down then stood back up again. He walked up and stood in front of me. "I believe you." He said finally then walked to the door and back to the couch sinking onto it.

I smiled "Oh good cause I'm terrified of needles." I told him.

"I don't know what to say." He said.

"No. I understand. It's shocking, believe me I was in shock when I found out too!" I told him.

He looked at me again, "Found out?" He asked confused.

"What? Yeah." I said walking over and sitting in the chair beside the couch. "I didn't find out until I was ten. I was snooping in our storage unit trying to find my Christmas presents… Look, Mom told me that when and if I ever went to find you that you would be angry, she didn't tell you. When I found out, our nightly bedtime stories became stories about you. Stories about you and her and her life in point place. She told me leaving without you knowing was the hardest thing she ever had to do, that it ate her up every day of my life. She knew you'd be angry, but can I.. I just hope your not because I love my mom, I love her more than anything and I know she only did what she had to." I said.

"Is she here?" He asked deflated.

"No… I kind of ran away." I said, quietly looking down at my feet.

"You, you what? Why would you do that?" He asked worried.

I stood back up and began pacing "I had to. I needed to see you face to face. I needed you to know I existed. I wanted to know you, to know a part of me that I didn't. I needed to know your side of the story why she felt she had to run. You see she always danced around what happened she never told me she didn't want me to think you were a bad guy but I need to know, why is she always getting hurt?" I asked tearing up. I flopped back down on the chair.

He looked at me a moment, got up slowly, then walked to the door. He flipped the sign to closed and locked the door, then he came over and sat down.

He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. "You want to know what happened, huh?

I nodded and he continued. "Okay. Well I left her when she told me to marry her or lose her. I chose someone else over her and I hurt her. Over pride, I was young, stupid and immature. I wanted to put her in her place." He paused. "I made her life hell. I remember now that she tried telling me about you a lot, I refused to listen. I'm so sorry." He whispered.

"She never told me." I said. "She didn't want me to think badly of you."

I stayed with him talking for the rest of the day and then we went to what Mom told me was The Forman's house. I met Donna and Eric who kept saying they couldn't believe it. I also met Zach, Kat and Sophia who were Donna and Eric's kids. Zach was about to turn 14, Kat had just turned 13 a week ago and Sophia is 3. I then met Betsy and Micah. Who I learned is My Mom and Stevens God-kids even though Micah never knew Mom and that their father was my Moms first love. Betsy was a year older than me and Micah was my age and Lastly I met Evan who was a kid they all went to school with.

"Does she know where you are?" Donna asked.

"Yes, I wrote her a note. I told her I would call her as soon as I could."I said.

She pointed to the phone, "Then you should." She said.

I smiled, "Thank you." I walked to the phone and everyone watched.

 **HYDE**

She picked the phone up and I braced myself. Donna and Eric's phone was always on speaker due to their house rules so I knew I was about to her her voice for the first time in over 14 years.

The phone started ringing. She looked back at me with a nervous look. My daughter.

"Hello? Charlotte!? Lolly, is that you!?" It was her. it all came rushing back to me then every touch, every look, every 'Steven'. She sounded distraught, petrified.

Lolly jumped back surprised by the loud speaker but recovered quickly. "Mom, yeah it's me. Mom I'm fine." She said low.

"Oh, Charlotte!" Jackie said strangled. "You scared the hell out of me! Where are you? We're coming to get you right now!" She said.

'Mom, Mom don't cry, stop. I'm sorry. I'm in Pointe Place I'm at The Forman's." She said.

Jackie didn't say anything for a moment, it was all silent. "I'm coming to get you, Lolly." She finally said.

"No, mama. I'm fine here, really, I told you I need to do this." Lolly pleaded.

"Charlotte Camilla! You are 14 years old!" She shouted then took a breath. "Now, look baby. If this is something you feel you have to do then your family should be there with you, for you. Me and your brother are flying out now. We'll be there in 4 hours and when I get there you are SO much trouble!"

"Mom.." She started. "No! No, I don't want to hear it Lolly. After everything that happened yesterday I was already worried about you, and then I wake up and you're gone. You left your window open so your note fell under your bed and I didn't see it until 20 minutes ago when everyone who loves and cares about you was looking for clues as to where you had gone! I was terrified Charlotte! Your Father is a mess and if you think for one second you're getting off without repercussions you're wrong. Now enjoy the next four hours because your get out of jail free card is being revoked. I love you so much, Lolly and I'm glad you're safe but you'll be lucky if you see the light of day ever again." And with that the line went dead.


	3. Where did you go?

"After she got off the phone, Zach and Kat took Lolly and the other kids downstairs to get to know her.  
"It's just all so crazy, I mean Jackie left because she was pregnant, I can't believe she left and didn't tell you." Eric said.  
"Yeah I mean I felt bad after she left, I knew we had hurt her, but I didn't know it was this bad." Donna said.  
"Yeah, and she looks JUST like Jackie at 14 it's incredible." Eric continued.  
"But with your eyes" Donna added.  
"I know. I thought it was Jackie for a second when I first saw her. Then I thought I was just going crazy, but she sounds just like her too. It confused me, man." I told them.  
"We sat there silently a moment "She'll be here later tonight." Donna finally said.  
"Yeah." I said.  
Lolly  
I went downstairs with Zach, Kat, Micah, Betsy and Evan and when I got to the bottom step I took a look around. It was different then the pictures my Mom had. It had moved up two decades since then, instead of Led Zeppelin and Fleetwood Mac posters there was Nirvana and Pearl Jam. The furniture was in the same place but it was different, too. Newer.  
"What do you think?" Zach asked.  
I nodded and walked over to the couch. "It's nice. It's not like the pictures my mom has." I told them sitting on the end of the couch next to Betsy.  
"I can't wait to met her. I've heard about her my whole life." Betsy said.  
"It's so romantic, really. I mean Uncle Hyde has been waiting on her all this time and it turns out she had his secret love child hidden away in New York for 14 years!" Kat gasped and began fanning herself.  
"Uh, well that's not exactly how it happened." I said feeling defensive.  
"No, we don't mean to offended you." Betsy said, "It's just really cool."  
"Yeah but what part isn't true?" Zach asked.  
I thought about it a minute. "Well, for one Steven hasn't been waiting for her. He's been married twice and secondly we've only been in New York 9 years." I said./p  
"Details." Kat said waving her hand.  
"Where else have you lived?" Evan asked.  
I sat back and crossed my legs. "Well, I was born on an Navajo reservation in New mexico. Then My mom moved us to California where we met my Dad. Then we lived in Asia for like three or four years." I told them./p  
"No you didn't.. Really?" Zach asked.  
"Yeah really." I said.  
"That's wicked cool." Micah said. It was the first time he has spoken to me. When we met he just gave a slight head nod and shook my hand. Micah, even at 14 was beautiful. He was tall and dark, and had a bad boy vibe. He made me very nervous, but oddly in a good way.  
I felt my face heat up and I looked away from him.  
"So why did you run away?" Zach asked.  
"I wanted to meet him." I said.  
"and?" Kat asked.  
"I was upset. My Dad, or Step-dad or adoptive Dad, whatever.. he introduced my baby brother and me to his new girlfriend and it just freaked me out. I don't know. It freaked me out and I just wanted to met Steven. I didn't want to wait any longer." I said./p  
"I get that." Evan said. "My Dad has a new girlfriend every other week."/p  
I had a slight feeling that Evan and Betsy liked each other I kept catching them in a back and forth sneak-a-peek game. After Even told me about his dad Betsy put her hand oh his knee./p  
""What was she like?" Kat asked./p  
I thought about it a minute. "Vapid. She's a 20 year old artist groupie. My dad, he's an artist and they met at one of his art shows. In New York, you see there is a group of whores that go around to art shows looking for the next Van Gogh or Salvador Dali. She saw him and sunk her shallow, short skirt wearing teeth into him. I mean, she;s not even as pretty as my Mom, aren't the new girlfriends supposed to be an upgrade? My Mom is 20x's prettier than her and way classier." I vented.  
"From the pictures I've seen there isn't much hotter than Jackie Burkhart." Zach said.  
"Yeah, your Mom was a babe back in the day." Evan said.  
"It's weird 'cause you look just like her." Betsey said.  
"Yeah you do." Zach chuckled.

HYDE  
"After about three hours the kids cam back upstairs and gathered in the kitchen. Lolly was about to say something when a noise came from behind me.  
"Charlotte." It was her. Jackie was here.  
"Mom!" Lolly jumped.  
I turned to see her, she was standing at the sliding glass door leaning in. She had on black jeans, a black shirt, and a black and white jacket. She looked more beautiful than the last time I saw her. Which I thought was impossible. She was older, more mature, otherworldly.  
Eric jumped up and walked to her, "Jackie, come in. Please." He said guiding her into the house and taking her luggage. Attached to her other hand was a little boy about 3 or 4. He let go and ran to Lolly. "Lol!" He said. "Hey River." She cooed.

"Donna stood up with tears in her eyes. She stood there staring at Jackie then ran over to her. They laughed as they threw their arms around one another. When they pulled away Jackie put her hand on Donna's 8 month pregnant belly. "You look so beautiful." Jackie said.

Donna smiled "You look exactly the same, it's unreal, you haven't aged!" She exclaimed, I had to agree with her, she didn't have a single wrinkle or line. Donna gestured to Zach and Kat. "Jackie these are our kids, Zach, is nearly 14 and Kat is newly 13 and that is my youngest Sophie, she's 3." She said waving Sophia over.  
Jackie looked at Eric and smiled then back at the kids, "Wow, hi, you're all so beautiful!" She smiled hugging them. Then she turned to the little boy in Lolly's arms and petted his head. "This is River." She said smiling.  
"I'm 4" He said holding up four fingers.  
"Well hello, River. Aren't you handsome."  
"We've heard about you our whole lives! I can't believe were finally meeting you." Kat told her.  
"Yeah we kind of thought you were really dead and mom was just delusional." Zach said.  
""I'm sorry." She said to them then turned to Donna. "Truly sorry."  
"Donna teared up again then hugged her, again. Then she turned back to the kids and straightened herself. "Okay. Jackie, this is Betsey and Michael's son Micah.  
Jackie looked at Betsey and covered her mouth. "Oh, my." She said going to hug her. "You're so big and beautiful. Oh." She said hugging her again. THen she looked at Micah and smiled broadly. "You look just like your father." She said pulling him in for a hug, too.  
"And this is Evan, the kids have been friends with him for years." Donna said.  
"It's nice to meet you." Evan said.  
Jackie smiled and shook his hand, "A gentleman." She said.  
I stood up and cleared my throat. "Could the adults can talk for a minute."  
Eric jumped in "Uh, yeah. Kids how about taking Lolly, River, and Sophie outside for a bit." He said.  
"Yeah sure." Zach said.  
ackie turned around and her eyes fell on me for the first time. I sat back down and she walked to the table followed by Donna. "Hello, Steven." She said taking a seat next to me.  
"Jackie." I said quietly  
"Look Steven, I'm sorry." She said.  
I shook my head. "Don't be. I'm not angry. Look, I know now that you tried to tell me, I remember. You tried to tell me countless times and I blew you off each of them. I'm sorry." I confessed.  
"She just looked at me a minute lost in her own thoughts, and I looked back at her. She was beautiful. She looked older but not old. She took my breath away.  
She came back to and took a breath. "I'm sorry she came and ambushed you like this." She paused and looked around. "I knew eventually she would come find you but I always thought she would ask me to come with her, not just sneak out in the middle of the night." She looked down at her hands. I noticed for the first time she had intricate tattoos on her hands and fingers, it was amazing Jackie actually had changed. A lot.  
It was quite a moment then Eric broke the silence. "Why did you leave, Jackie?" He asked.  
She inhaled then looked at me. "I almost lost her. When I was pregnant I almost had a miscarriage. My doctor said I had too much stress and I was under weight and so was Lolly. He said if I didn't eliminate more than half of it I would lose her. So I decided to just tell you. I decided I would come over and just blurt it out, so I did I came over and walked to your room. At that time I was already sad and bitter and hormonal and when I heard what you said to Sam that morning I backed out. I ran and… I ran. I decided leaving was the best way to fix it all. None of you wanted me here and I wanted Charlotte more than anything so I left. I could not lose her, she became my world when I had nothing." She told us.  
Donna looked at me and I tried thinking back "What did you hear me say to Sam?" I asked her.  
"Oh Steven that was so long ago it doesn't even matter anymore. It's in the past, I've moved on from it." She said.  
"No. It does. I want to know what it was that made you leave town, leave your life behind for more than 14 years. What did I say?" I asked.  
She hung her head then looked back at me. "You told her that you were happy that I was out of your life. Then you told her I was a bitch and that you never really loved me, you hardly even liked me that I was just easy." She smiled ironically when she saw my face. "Like I said it was a long time ago, ancient history. We were just kids." She finished.  
Donna laughed sarcastically. "You were such an asshole." She said looking at me squarely.  
"I hung my head this time remembering it all clearly. "I'm so sorry, Jackie. I didn't even mean that when I said it." I told her. And I didn't, Sam was getting on my nerves and I was trying to shut her up.  
She put her hand on mine, "I know, Steven. Like I said; ancient history. I've lived a good life since I left. I've become a better person, way better that I would have been if I had stayed here." She told me.  
"Good." I said taking her hand. It was good. Truth was she had a terrible childhood. Although she was rich and had a big house, her parents abandoned her early. They never truly loved her. I was glad she has a good live. I just hated that she had to leave everything to find it and that I had to give up knowing my daughter.  
"So, where do you live now? What do you do? Are you married?" She asked pointing at the ring on her finger.  
"We live in New York, I run a Non profit organization and own a bar. I am married, however we are in the middle of divorcing." She answered.  
""I'm so sorry, that must be hard." Donna said.  
""Oh, no. Don't be, It is hard but mostly on Charlotte she didn't see it coming, and has been acting out since.." She told.  
"'Hence the running away." Eric said.  
"Yeah and I just found out she's been skipping school. Luckily we have all summer to figure it out but I'm worried about her." She looked at me. "And if it's okay, maybe we could stick around for a couple of weeks, it might help her." She said.  
""Oh, of course, I want to get to know her." I told her.  
She smiled. "Good. I got a room at the Plaza for two weeks, I'll see where we are by then and proceed as needed." She said.  
"What no. You can all stay with me." I said.  
""What? Steven, no-" She began.  
"I shook my head stopping her. "No, I have a four bedroom house, three empty rooms, one for each of you. It doesn't have to be awkward, I'm gone most of the day and I could even stay at Grooves." I told her.  
""No we couldn't." She said.  
"Look, it would be easier to get to know her if she was in the same house." I confessed.  
l; font-"Lol, I need to talk to you." She said.  
Lolly came in with River hand in hand. "What is it, Mama?" She asked.  
"She looked back at me and then back to Lolly. "Lolly, Rhys, how would you like to stay here for a few weeks?" She asked them.  
"Really, Mom?" Lolly asked excitedly.  
"Yes." She said.  
"Oh mom!" Lolly shrieked hugging Jackie. "Thank you!" She said then her smile fell. "What about Dad?" She asked.  
"I talked to him before we left, he's okay with it." She told her. "Also, Steven has invited us to stay with him, how do you feel about that?" She asked quietly.  
Lolly's face lit up and she looked at me. "Really? You want us to?" She asked me.  
I nodded. "I do, I would love it." I told her.  
Lolly looked Jackie for a second gauging her expression. "Are you sure, mom?" She asked her.  
Jackie simply nodded. Rivers came up to her "Mommy, I'm hungry."  
"Oh I'm sorry!" Donna said getting up. "I'll make something. How about burgers, quick and easy."  
"Um actually-actually Donna, thank you. Really but, uh we are vegetarians." Jackie said.  
"Veg-a-whats?" Eric asked.  
"We don't eat slaughtered innocent animals." Lolly told him crossing her arms.  
"Oh okay well we have fruit?" Donna said uncertain.  
Jackie chuckled "No Donna, if it's okay, I can make something we can all enjoy." She said.  
"Um, yeah sure." Donna said.  
Jackie began preparing food and we were trying to get to know Lolly, we took our turns asking her questions.  
"Oh yeah, Mrs Lennox," Kat started.  
"Yes dear?" Jackie answered.  
Lennox. Huh.  
"Lolly was telling us that you used to live in Asia! What was that like?!" She asked.  
"Oh it was amazing, it's truly another world there. It's beautiful and ancient." She told her.  
"Wow, when did you live in Asia, what part?" Donna asked.  
She began chopping butternut squash, "We went there for what was only supposed to be two weeks when Charlotte was 1, but we ended up staying for 3 years. We lived in Indonesia, Burma and Nepal." She said.  
"What did you do there? What was it like?" Zach asked.  
"I worked for a Non profit. We built schools and homes, Jude, my husband taught art at the schools we built and like I said it was otherworldly. It was very sacred, in Burma and Nepal we lived at Buddhist temples with monks. In Indonesia we moved from village to village staying with the natives." She explained.  
"Is that where you got your tattoos?" Donna asked.  
"Yes my Sak Yants. None are exposed at the moment, however." She told us.  
"Where else have you lived?" Eric asked.  
"Well in the first year after I left I lived pretty much everywhere. New Mexico on a Navajo reservation which is where Lolly was born. Then we lived in California for three months where I worked for my first non profit organization and fell in love with it. After Cali I was transferred to South Dakota where we lived and help a freedom school. Then I was sent to Atlanta for a few weeks and after Atlanta to south america which lead to Asia. Three years later we went to New York. I decided I wanted to go back to school so I went to NYU and started working at the bar under the apartment we lived in." She explained.  
"What about your husband? How did you meet him? What does he do?" Donna asked.  
She looked up from rolling whatever she was rolling and looked at me, then at Lolly. Lolly stepped forward and took Rivers hand then turned to Kat and Zach. "Hey, I bet you don't watch My so called life do you, if so it's coming on in like 5 minutes.?" She asked. Which proceeded with Kat's ramblings and all the kids heading downstairs. Once they were out of earshot Jackie started.  
We uh meet in California. I was waiting tables as a second job and he came in and would sit for hours painting and we just became friends and he started going everywhere with us. We didn't even start dating until we got to New York, however. Then Lolly just started calling him Daddy right out of the blue and it kinda pushed us closer so we got married. After I got out of NYU. He sold paintings throughout the years but he mostly just curated at a gallery a few blocks from our flat. Now though" She said getting really busy. "Now he's decided to open his own gallery in Brooklyn."  
"What a- if you don't mind me asking- What happened? Why divorce after so many years?" Donna asked.  
Jackie looked at her, then slightly shrugged as she dropped dough into water. "Well, four years ago when Charlotte found out, things just kind of changed. He loves Lolly. He really does but I think he never thought she would know. After she found out I think he felt like she wasn't his anymore. He didn't know how to act around her and by default kind of drifted away from me. We had decided not to have anymore kids but I thought maybe a baby would pull him back but some how it pushed him further. We never fought so it completely took Lolly by surprise she was really upset. I think she feels like it was her fault." She said.  
"Well.." Eric said and I kicked him under the table. "Ow."  
Jackie shook her head as she started pouring cream into a skillet. "No. It isn't her fault truth is, I never really wanted to get married. Not that we weren't happy, we were very happy. I just always knew we were just supposed to be friends. Charlotte is who bonded us from the beginning and when she started calling him daddy it kind sucked us into this fantasy world but it was never going to last. Her finding out was the catalyst. It just brought us back to reality it took four years to make it official but, we legally separated a year ago we just weren't ready to tell the kids." She said.  
"Are you seeing anyone?" Donna asked gently looking at me.  
Jackie chuckled, "No, no, no. I'm not ready for that. Not only Lolly but Rhys would flip as well, they aren't ready." She said.  
"He's dating." Donna pointed out.  
""Yes and you see how that turned out and if there's one thing in my life I've learned it's that men never grieve as long as women." She said quickly glancing my way and just as quickly looking away.

Soon she finished dinner and we all sat at the dining table. She had made butternut squash ravioli with Parmesan sage sauce and rolls. It was amazing especially for a girl who used to make cookies that would knock someones head off.


	4. Here we go, again

JACKIE

It had been an exhausting two days hell it had been an exhausting year but last night and today topped it. Last night seeing my little girl heartbroken broke me, and now sitting beside Steven Hyde, on the way to his house where I will be sleeping with our daughter he had no idea about and my son who is another man's child. I was wore out.

I glanced over at him and it happened again. Every time I looked at him it all came flooding back. Every touch, every breath everything we had came rushing back, my senses were running in overdrive and every time he moved or any sound escaped him, I jumped a little. He looked great, better than he did 14 years ago, he was older.

He cleared his throat and looked at the rear view mirror then at me. "I… uh, I don't have much furniture so I only have one extra bed so you'll have to share it for tonight but tomorrow I will get two more." He whispered.

"Oh okay, Steven. That's fine, I mean… Are you sure it okay if we stay with you? I mean if it's weird or if you felt on the spot I would completely understand." I told him.

"No. I want you here." He said as we pulled into a driveway. It was long I could tell. This new Steven would have made the old Jackie so happy but he made the new me very nervous, I knew how to handle the old him.

We got to the house and it took my breath away. It was perfect, everything I ever wanted and suddenly I wasn't nervous anymore. I was petrified. "This is beautiful." I said awed. It wasn't huge, but it wasn't tiny either. It was an English style Tudor with ivy going up the side. Perfect.

"Thank you. I just finished it." He said getting the luggage out of the trunk. I Reached back and gently shook Lolly's knee. "Hey, wake up baby. Why don't you Steven with the bags while I get your brother." I told her.

"Okay mommy." She said getting out. It took me back every time she called me mommy. No matter how big she thinks she's getting or how big she looks she's still my baby. I got out and opened the back door. When we got in Steven had took River from me without hesitation and Charlotte and I followed.

We got upstairs and he opened the first door we came to and went in. "Sorry it's only one bed tonight." He said laying River down.

"Its okay, Steven really." I told him.

Charlotte didn't say anything just crawled in next to River and pulled him to her. "Goodnight" She told us. I smiled and walked out.

Steven came out behind me and shut the door. "That's nice. That she loves him." He said.

"Yeah, she wants to protect him against everything." I told him.

"She's amazing." He told me sincerely.

"Thank you, Steven." I said. There was so much more I wanted to say and I could tell he did too. However instead I went down and got our luggage and went to the room. Luckily there was a bathroom so I changed and went to bed.

The next morning I got up to and empty bed and freaked out a little. I ran downstairs and didn't see them so I ran into the next room and they were there. All of them. Steven was flipping pancakes and Rhys and Lolly were standing beside him laughing. "Mmm, what smells so good?" I asked coming up behind River and putting my hands on his shoulders.

Steven jumped and dropped a pancake on the floor enticing another laugh. "Morning." He said bending to pick it up.

I chuckled and walked to his cabinets looking through them. "Um, Steven…" I said.

"Yes?" He asked putting pancakes on the table. "Would it be okay if I uh.. bought groceries?" I asked.

"What?" He asked looking up. "Oh yeah! Of course sorry. I'm rarely here so I don't buy much but yeah, sorry I have money in the jar over there just take whatever." He said.

"Oh no I have money just needed permission." I told him.

"Since when does Jackie Burkhart need permission for anything?" He asked.

"Since Jackie Burkhart became Jackie Lennox." I started walking to the table and noticed my daughter staring at me with a knowing smile. "What?" I asked her.

"Nuffin, Ma. Nuffin." She said grabbing the Syrup.

I watched as she dug in and my son join her. I cleared my throat loudly. "Excuse my rude children. Steven. Thank you for making breakfast." I told him.

"Oh right sorry thank you, Hyde." She said.

"Yes. Thank you." Rhys followed.

We ate breakfast and Steven said he had to go to the store and asked if Lolly could go. I told them that she was grounded but I wanted them to get to know each other so I said only if she worked and actually worked so they left.

Rhys and I got dressed and set out for a mommy and sons day out. First we went to the furniture store and picked out new beds. Then we went and bought so new towels and linens. After that we went to the store and bought some food. Next we headed to the record store to bring Steven and Charlotte lunch.

We walked into the record store and saw WB talking to them. WB turned and saw me "Missing girl!" He said walking up to me and wrapping his arms around me.

"Hi, WB." I said.

He leaned in and whispered in my ear "He's been waiting for you. He always waited." He said and stepped back.

I Looked at him and shook my head. "I know. I'm sorry." I told him. And I did know. I knew as soon as I saw that house. When I walked in and it was just like I described to him 15 years ago in the middle of the night on his old cot. It was my home, the place I went in my head when I was scared or sad. It was my happy place and he had built it in real life. That knowledge terrified me.

We had lunch with everyone then me and River went to what was once The Hub. I knew seeing it again would make me nostalgic but standing in front of this run down, abandoned building broke my heart.

"Are you okay, Mommy?" River asked.

I looked down and realized I was crying. I bent and picked him up. "Yes baby." I said. "You know, Mommy loved this place when she was younger. Not as much as I love you, but I loved it here." I told him.

"Do we live here now Mommy?" He asked.

"No, baby. We still live in New York. Do you like it here, Rhys?" I asked him.

He shook his head "It's quite."

I didn't know why but I decided to call the number on the building. I don't know why I did it but I did. 1 hour later I had laid down$50,000 for the hub. I still wasn't sure why I did it. I spent the rest of the day thinking about it and was still stuck in my head as I stood in the kitchen cooking. Before I knew it I Steven and Charlotte had came home.

Charlotte walked into the kitchen "Mom!" She said walking up behind me and kissing my cheek.

"Hey, Baby." I said turning to her. "Did you have a good day?" I asked.

"Oh my god-" She said and went off on her day laughing and throwing the conversation to Steven then back to her. Eventually we all sat down to eat. "Oh, I got new beds, and they're rentals so if you don't want them when we leave we you can send them back." I told Steven.

"Oh speaking of which, Mom. I was talking to Hyde about it and he said that maybe I should pick a room and make it my own." She said.

"Oh." I said putting my fork down and grabbing my wine. "That sounds, that sounds good." I said picking my fork back up.

"Yeah, I just figured whenever you worked out when she'd come to stay she should be comfortable." He choked out.

"No, it uh, it really sounds nice." I told him.

"So can we go tomorrow, Mom?" Lolly asked.

"Of course, sweetie." I said.

We talked through dinner, and dessert. After dinner we sat in the living room and watched TV. At 9 I had the kids call Jude and then got River ready for bed. Charlotte picked out the room in the at the end because it was biggest and had a bathroom. I put Rhys' bed in the middle since it was smaller. I moved my things into-ironically-the room next to Steven's.

After I got Rhys to sleep I was walking back down stairs when I heard Steven and Charlotte talking. I stopped and listened for a moment.

"Yeah, Luckily Moms always been strict with my grades so it shouldn't be too hard to do. She said.

"Sounds like a good plan. It'd be cool to read your work one day." Steven said.

"Yeah I really want to write for Rolling Stones or Spin." She told him.

"I promise I would put every issue on Grooves wall." He said to her.

I sat down at the top of the stairs, listening. I listened to them for a long time. They were getting to know each other and it was beautiful. They sounded like Jude and Lolly before things went bad but more. It sounded easy for them.

I looked at my watch and it was 11:30. I stood up and walked down. "Okay, young lady, it is nearly 12. You need to head on up." I told her.

She sighed and got up. "Okay." She bent down and kissed Steven on the cheek. "'Night, Hyde." She said.

She came up to me and threw her arms around me. "Goodnight, Ma." She said kissing my cheek then she ran up stairs.

I stood there a minute then Steven cleared his throat. "Could uh, could we talk?" He asked.

I walked to the couch and sat next to him. "Sure." I said.

"Look. I know you and Jude need to talk about first but I uh I just want you to know I want to be a part of her life, and I'll take whatever I can get. I wont pressure you about it but I just want to know if after you leave, I will get to see her again." He said.

"Oh, Steven of course. I mean can I tell you something?" I asked.

"Yeah. Absolutely." He said.

"I bought The Hub today." I confessed.

"Wh-What?" He asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. I was standing there looking at this old dilapidated building that I loved so much and I just decided. I knew I would need something to do when we came here to see you, so I bought it." I told him.

"Really?" He asked. "You do plan to come back?"

"Yeah, Steven I never wanted to keep her from you. Like I said before I always expected for you to find out and be apart of her life. I'm her mom, that what being a parent is about. I have to do everything I can to make those kids happy. I have to do everything I can to ensure they have a good life and right now she needs you." I told him.

He looked at me a minute "So The Hub?" He asked "What are you going to do with it?"

"I'm not sure but I figured I would fix it up slowly and also my non profit has a branch in Milwaukee so it'll divide my time between the two, and I figured I would start looking for an apartment tomorrow." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I'm going to need a place to live." I said

"What's wrong with here?" He asked.

"We can't live here with you, Steven." I said.

"Why not?" He asked offended

"Because this is your house." I said confused.

"I like having you here, Jackie. All of you, it's nice." He said.

I thought about it for a minute. "Okay, well talk about it again before we leave." I said standing up. "Thank you, Steven. Really." I said.

"I mean it Jackie." He said standing. "I really do want you- all of you here." He said and walked past me and up the stairs.


	5. Waiting for you

HYDE

They had been her for nearly two weeks, and I was already starting to feel alive again, I had forgotten what it was like to be happy. Not complacent or just floating through, no. I was grounded. I hadn't even realized I needed what they gave me...

Jackie came bouncing down the stairs in bell bottoms and a Pearl Jam t shirt that bared her belly button. She was barefoot and had messy unkempt hair.

She was perfect. I became more and more aware of that fact with each passing day.

"Hey!" She said smiling.

"Hi." I said.

She walked up to me "So I was thinking, maybe you could go with me to the store and things to restock your fridge and cabinets, while I get the stuff for the party. I don't want you to starve while we're gone." She said bringing me back to the reality that they would be leaving in a few days.

She had been pretty busy the last week working on The Hub. She had decided to just restore it into a new and improved Hub. Instead of The Hub, however she had decided to change the name to The Water Tower. We all loved it and we had even begun the process of partnering Grooves with it, so that when she isn't here I can oversee it.

We got to the store and started shopping, we didn't talk much but when we got around to the meat I asked her, "Why vegetarian? When?"

She took a breath. "Well, it started in Asia. The Monks didn't eat meat so when we lived at the Monasteries we didn't either. There was this one Monk, Jinpa. He and I became really close. He made me see the world in a new light, and I saw the way we treat animals. I saw the way we treat things that can't fight back. I didn't want to be apart of that. I didn't want to kill an innocent creature just because it tastes good or because I don't feel like an apple." She said.

"Huh." I said as I walked past the meat.

"Steven, you didn't get anything." she said.

"Yeah, I've kinda actually enjoyed not eating meat." I told her.

"I'm sorry, Steven. Are you feeling okay?" She asked.

"What? I'm fine." I said laughing.

She gave me a look and laughed. "What? Lolly doesn't believe in it and I want to support that even if that means giving up hamburgers." I told her.

She stopped walking and turned to look at me. "Tha-that's really good, Steven. It is." She said.

After the store we went back to the house and got ready for dinner. Tonight everyone was coming to dinner. Eric, Donna, Kelso, Brooke, and their kids. Fez and Mr and Mrs Forman even came to town to see Jackie and meet Lolly. Everyone was coming over even WB Angie and Rodrick her son.

JACKIE

I was preparing dinner for tonight's party when Lolly came into the kitchen and stood beside me.

"Mom." She said quietly as she hopped up on the counter.

I stopped chopping and looked up. "What's wrong, babe?" I asked.

She inhaled and rubbed her legs. "I wanted to talk about Hyde." She said.

"Okay. What about him?" I asked.

"I want to know when I'll see him again. I know you said we would talk about it but I want to know before we leave." She said.

"Okay. We will talk about it. We'll talk with Steven, tonight. After everyone goes home." I said.

I went back to chopping and she stayed there, silent for a few minutes. Then she leaned down, putting her elbows on her knees. "You know, Mom. You know I love dad, right?" She asked.

"Of course I do." I told her. "And you know he loves you."

"I do. However, my whole life, even with dad there, it was always you. You're my best friend, Mom. You always have been, we've done everything together for as long as I can remember. There was others there, Sage, Pru, Max, Dad was there pretty much everyday and I love them but you're the one I've counted on the one I looked up to." She rambled.

"Okay, Lol. Where is this going?" I asked stopping her.

She took a breath, "Sorry. What I'm trying to say is that you have been the one, the one person in my life the big one but now, now there's Hyde." She said.

I stopped what I was doing again and looked at her. "Charlotte, what are you talking about?"

She jumped down and started pacing, "I don't know, Mom! It's just, I don't.. I don't want you to feel, I don't know that I want to be with him more or something." She said and stopped pacing.

"Lolly.." I said. I walked over to her and hugged her. "I wont ever worry about that, Charlotte. You came out of my body." I told her.

She exhaled "Good, good because, I don't want to go." She said.

"What?" I asked.

"I don't want to go back yet, Mom. I want to stay the whole summer. I mean, I know you and River have to go, but I want to stay." She told me.

I turned and walked away. I stopped and put my hands to my head. I exhaled and turned back to her. "You don't have to worry about me Charlotte and I wish I could tell you that you didn't have to worry about anyone else either, but it wouldn't be true. What do you think it would be like for River not to see you for two whole months? Also, I know things are rocky with him, but Jude is your dad. He has been for 14 years. Imagine how he would feel if he knew you chose to spend two months in another state with your other father when you can hardly stand to spend a weekend with him? I know you're angry, Lolly. I know you shouldn't have to worry about him, that he is a grown man and you're only 14 but he's lost right now, Charlotte. He needs you."

"Are you really asking me to choose?" She asked incredulously.

I shook my head, "No, Lolly. I'm asking you NOT to choose because if you stay here, if you don't come back to New York with us, that's what you'll be doing. You'll be choosing Steven." I told her.

LOLLY

We were sitting around the dining table listening to my new grandmother, that's right a grandmother. Something I had never had before tell us about how Hyde once fell off the water tower. It was a nice dinner, meeting everyone my mom had grown up with and seeing my new friends, but I couldn't stop watching Mom. There was something going on with her she had about 3 glasses of wine so far and she was being very quiet. She was acting funny. I looked over in time to see Hyde lean over and ask if she was okay. She shook her head and looked down at her empty plate. I had a feeling all this overwhelmed her. Our life was pretty much for the most part calm and quiet tonight, however was not everyone was talking and laughing and asking her tons of questions, she was uncomfortable.

The dinner was over and everyone had gone. Mom and Hyde were in the kitchen and I went to talk about what we were going to do when I heard them talking.

"I'm sorry tonight was so hard." Hyde said.

"It's okay, I didn't know it would be until Red hugged me." She said.

It was quiet a minute while they passed dishes to each other. "Jackie, we've all just missed you. We've all just spent almost 15 years wondering if you were even alive." He said. "They didn't mean to interrogate you like that." He told her softly.

"I know. I know." She said taking a breath and turning to him. "I just, it's been so long and I seemed to have left my tough skin in New York. I honestly didn't think it'd be like this. I thought I would come here and we would led separate lives and I wouldn't have to see any of you." She started tearing up while she continued "I didn't think she would want to stay." She chuckled "It would happen like this. The one place on earth that put me through hell would be the one place my daughter wants to be." She shook her head. "The reason I never came back was because I never wanted to relive all the bad crap that happened here but that's all I've been doing. When I went to The Hub, The Water Tower, everywhere I've gone it just all spills back and I feel like I'm drowning again. You know what else? I can't go into the basement. I tried the other day when I went to see Donna, she wanted me to see what it looked like and I couldn't do it, Steven. She opened that door and walked down but I couldn't follow her. I just kept thinking about it all, the years I spent down there waiting for approval from all of you and then all the nights we laid on you cot talking and kissing and then the day I heard you say I never meant anything to you. I couldn't, I ran. Just like I ran that day. I can't even go past the street I grew up on. I can't even imagine what seeing that house will do to me, and now she wants to stay and I don't know how to handle it. I don't know how to handle you anymore, I mean I could have handled the old you, you hating me would have been fine. This new mature you, though, it freaks me out, Steven. I don't know how to take you. How do we mold our lives together now?" She asked.

He inhaled and held it before blowing out slowly. "I spent a lot of years hating you Jackie. I couldn't do it anymore. I had to change." He said.

"I know, I'm so glad you did, I'm so glad your happy. I'm beyond thrilled that you and Charlotte have bonded and that she doesn't want to leave you. I am I just need time to get used to being here again before all she wants is to be in Pointe Place. Then there's Jude. He already hates that we've been staying here and he's pissed that I bought The Hub if I come home without Lolly, he is going to eat me alive." She told him.

Hyde ran his hands through his hair and turned away from her. He stood looking out the backdoor for a moment then turned back. "Then we tell her she can't stay." He said.

Mom shook her head and walked over to him. "We can't do that, Steven. I'm not going to tell her what she wants. This time in her life is too confusing as it is without us telling her what she has to do. Maybe we can just come up with a compromise that she'll be okay with." SHe said looking at the ground.

Hyde stepped forward and slowly pulled her into an embrace. She stood stiff and rigid for a moment then gently sunk into him. They stood there in an embrace that became more and more intimate by the minute and that's when I realized that, that's what I wanted from the start. I wanted them, my parents to be together.

And then I realized as I watched my mom push him away and run past him that it was the most selfish thing I had ever wanted.

She never got over him and He's been waiting for her but he hurt her so bad she can't move past it. She's still in pain, 15 years later and she's still hurting and it's my fault.

JACKIE

I wasn't sure how long I sat out in the rain before I got up and went back inside, everyone was sleeping so I went to my room and changed. I crawled in my bed and pulled the covers over my head, like I did when I was little. 32 years old and still afraid. I was terrified but mostly I was stuck. Stuck in the past and I had to move on from it. I had to.

The next morning I got up and went into Charlotte's room. I crawled into bed next to her and ran my fingers through her hair, "Hey baby." I said.

"Mom?" She asked.

"Good morning, sweetie." I whispered.

"Morning." She said then shot up and turned to me. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" She asked worried.

"What? Yeah baby. I'm fine." I said confused. "I just wanted to ask you something." I said.

"Oh, okay. Shoot." She said.

I sat up and grabbed her hand. "We used to spend all day together, and since we've been here we haven't. So what I want to ask is, would you spend the day with me instead of going to Grooves?" I asked. "I really want to show you something." I told her.

"Yeah, sure, Mom." She said.

"Okay now get up and get dressed, I'm going to talk to Steven and start breakfast." I said.

I knocked on Steven's door and he was standing by his bed buttoning his shirt. "Hey! Come in. What's up?" He asked.

I went in and sat on the arm of his chair. "I, uh, wanted to apologize about last night and to tell you that I asked Lolly to spend the day with me." I told him.

"Okay. That's cool, do you want me to take Rhys?" He asked.

"Oh no. You don't have to I can ask someone to watch him." I said.

He shook his head, "No, no I don't mind, I enjoy him." He said.

"Oh really? I mean, he would love that." I said.

"Yeah of course." He said and walked over to me. "Jackie.." He whispered above me. "I'm sorry if I freaked you out last night."

I stood up and walked past him to the door. "It's cool." I said and walked out.

LOLLY

"Okay. I want to share something with you." Mom said as she drove.

"Okay." I said "Where are we going?" I asked.

"Back in time." She said as she slowed down and pulled into a driveway. I turned my head and looked at the house we pulled up to. It was huge and dark, no cool like The Addams family but sad and lonely. We got out and she came around to stand by me. She leaned against the car and stared at the house. "This Charlotte.." She said pointing at it with the keys. "This is where I grew up." She said.

I realized then that this was the house she was telling Steven she couldn't stand. I turned to her, "Mom, we do not have to in there." I said.

"No Lolly. We do. I want to do this with you." She said and took my hand. We walked around to the backyard and she tried the back door.

"Uh Mom, what are you doing? What if someone lives here!?" I said

"Please. My Mom would never sell this house." She said surprising me. She had never talked about her parents before.

He quit turning the knob and started searching for something. After a few seconds she

made a happy noise then ran back to the door. She pulled out a key and unlocked the door. She opened it and grabbed my hand again. We walked slowly inside and the smell of abandonment hit me hard. I looked up at Mom and I could see her recalculating her decision to come here.

"Mom?" asked.

She squeezed my hand and walked on through the kitchen. "Everything is the same as when I left." She said lost in thought. We walked out of the kitchen and into what looked like the foyer. She walked to the wall opposite us and pulled a sheet off a painting. The sheet revealed a painting of A man a Woman and a little girl. "Is that?" I asked trailing off as Mom stood there staring at it. I noticed that none of the people in the painting was smiling. They all looked unhappy.

After a few more second Mom shook herself and took a deep breath. She turned back to me and smiled "Let's move on shall we?" She asked grabbing my hand again.

We walked into a room by the end of the stairs, it was the living room. It had sheet on all the furniture. We didn't stay long instead we went up the stairs. We walked down the hall and stopped at a door that had 'Jacqueline' in cursive on it.

Mom opened the door slowly and we stepped inside. It was nearly empty but had a few things in it. It had posters on the wall and stuffed animals in the corner of the room.

We went in and she sat down by the pile of stuffed animals and started talking about each one. She started telling me about her parents and about her childhood and it made me realize how luck I was to now have 3 parents who wanted me when it seemed that all 3 of them didn't even have 1 that wanted them. They were all orphans.

Mom laughed and picked up a big pink unicorn "You know your Dad and I would sit in this room for hours and I would tell him about the family I wanted someday." She paused and I realized that it was the first time either of us had referred to Hyde as my Dad. "I loved him so much, Charlotte. More than I had loved anyone in my life. More than my parents, more than I loved Michael. I loved Steven more than life itself. I used to share things with him that I never told anyone. Even with how much he hurt me, I would never change anything that has happened because, I have you and Lolly and, you are amazing." She said as she started crying. "I didn't know I could ever love anything as much as I loved him until I had you. You and your brother are everything to me."

I started crying and scooted closer to her. "Mom, I want to go back to New York with You and River. I want to make things right with Dad." I told her.

She looked at me and smiled. "Really?" SHe asked.

"Yeah! I mean if only if I get to see Hyde on a regular bases." I said.

"Oh course! Yes, we will work it out." She said pulling me into a hug.

We didn't spent much longer in the house. After we left she took me to the water tower that they had all been talking about and we sat there while she told me about her memories there and why her name was on it.

Then she took me to The Hub that she was transforming. It was a great day walking around and hearing and seeing everything first hand.

When we got home mom started on dinner and soon Hyde and River came in. During dinner we discussed the arrangement and decided that Hyde would come to New York as soon as he could. Then I would come to Pointe Place before school started back for a week or so, then he would come throughout the school year and we all would visit him for half of each summer. We had it all worked out.

HYDE

They were leaving in just a few short hours and I had one last thing I wanted to do. I had asked Donna and Eric to take all the kids out for a while and I told Jackie I had something to show her. We pulled up to The Forman's driveway and I shut the engine off.

"What are we doing here, Steven?" She asked.

I took a breath and looked at her. "I have to confess something to you." I said.

"Okay…" She said worried.

"We didn't know you had left until the day Fez came back. He ran into the basement out of breath. He started rambling how everything in your room was gone and he couldn't find you anywhere. He was going insane, so we went to help him look for you. At first we thought it was just you being dramatic and would show up in a few days but when you didn't- when 3 months went by and you hadn't called or came back I went crazy. I lost my shit, Jackie. I trashed the basement. I tracked down you mom. I found her in Mexico and I went to see her thinking that maybe you were with her or at the very least knew where you were. When I showed up she pretended she didn't even know who I was but I persisted, finally she broke down and told me that she didn't even know you weren't in Pointe Place let alone where you were. So I came back. When I got back I went to WB's and stayed until I had enough to get my own place. I didn't even step foot into The Forman's for over a year, and I haven't been in that basement since the night I trashed it." I admitted.

She looked at me for what felt like a lifetime. "You haven't?"

I shook my head, "No. I haven't. I've avoided it but I've realized we need to move on from this, Jackie. Not just for Charlotte but for us. We need to start fresh and we can't if we have the past hanging over or heads. I need to believe that you're truly back because honestly I've felt like these last two week have been a dream and I'm going to wake up tomorrow and I'm going to still be the same lonely, sad 33 year man waiting for the love of his life to come back. I can't be that guy anymore and still be a good Dad to Lolly, Jackie. We need to move on from it. I need you to forgive me and I need to forgive myself." I said.

She shook her head and got out of the car. I got out and went to join her. She grabbed my hand and locked her fingers with mine. We walked down the driveway and we started down the steps. She looked at me as I opened the door and walked in.

We both were taken aback by how different it all was. Nothing was the same, from the color on the walls to the washer and dryer. At that moment I realized all these years I has still been stuck in 1979. My clothes had changed and Grooves had changed but in my head hadn't I truly had been waiting on her. We looked at each other again and we started back to what was once my room and walked in.

When I found out she had left I kicked Sam out and had changed my room back to the way it was when I was with Jackie it made me feel like she was still there.

I had honestly expected it to have changed like everything else but when we walked in, it hadn't. Everything was still in the same place as the last night I was here. Down to the framed picture of Jackie, she had put there after the first time I called her my girlfriend.

She let got of my hand and walked over to the cot we once shared. She sat down and grabbed the old flower pillow that was her favorite.

She sat there clutching it and looking around. "It's all the same." She whispered.

"Yeah. It is." I said sitting next to her. "I can't believe they would keep it like this."

She sat back and ran her hand over the cot. "I loved the cot so much." She said.

"What? You always complained about it." I said.

"No. I know but it was a defensive thing. Really though I loved it, it was where I felt it first." She said

"What do you mean? Felt what?" I asked.

"Complete." She said. When she saw my face she explained. "You know when I told you there was like a part of me missing?" When I nodded she went on. "Well, one night we were laying here in bed and you were holding me, but loosely. I moved a little and you suddenly pulled me tighter to you and it was like you were trying to make us one person, like I was a part of you. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I had found the missing piece." She said.

I sat there staring, knew what she was talking about because I felt it too. With her.

"What were the other times?" I finally got out.

"Well of course the moment I looked into Charlotte's eyes. It was so intense I couldn't breath all I could do was stare into her big, bright, blue eyes. Even as an infant you know, she had your eyes. Then the second time was in Tana Toraja, Indonesia it was just a moment I was watching Charlotte play with this little girl I baby sat while I was there and they were just playing, laughing and running in circles and it just hit me, I was complete. The the last time was when I had River." She said.

"Not when you married, Jude?" I asked. She shook her head and saw something over in the corner across from us. She stood up and went and picked it up. She turned to me holding the item, "My locket." She said. "I pawned this. I sold this when I left." She said looking at me.

I scratched my head. "No, right. Like a month after you left I found it at the pawn shop and I bought it back." I told her. "I had forgotten."

She came back and sat on the bed beside me. "Steven.." She whispered.

"No, don't say anything Jackie. I had to get it back." I said.

We stayed there in my old room for over an hour then I told her I had one more thing to show her. We stayed silent in the car on the way to Milwaukee. When we pulled into WB's driveway we got out. "What are we doing here, Steven?" She asked.

"I wanted to show you something." I said.

I told her to stay there and went inside a few seconds later I opened the garage door. She was standing there and I motioned her forward.

"Oh, my god. Is that the El Camino?" She asked.

"Yes. It is." I said.

She ran her hands down the tail and stopped when she looked in the back. It was the first place we did it. Right there in the back under the stars. When she turned around she had tears in her eyes. "Why are we here, Steven?" She asked again.

"Because Jackie. This is where I felt it. This is the only place I ever felt it. With you, in the back of this El Camino in the same place I built that house. That's where I felt complete." I told her.

Her eyes widened and the tear finally fell. "That's where… Where you built your house. That's where we first…?" She asked.

I nodded. "Yes."


	6. In my place

We had left Point Place three weeks ago and it seemed as if New York had lost it's magic. Which I didn't know was possible! I mean it's New York, but no. New York was dull and Pointe Place seemed to shine. The universe has flipped upside down. The apartment didn't feel like home anymore, it felt lifeless and cold. I missed the little tudor with the big kitchen and backyard. Lolly was on a high right after we got home but now she was down right depressed. She stopped seeing her friends and just moped around the apartment. Rhys was oblivious per usual. The upside however was that Jude had been coming around more often. I think he was jealous and worried by how good of a time we had, had. He was angry that I had bought The Hub and let Charlotte decorate her own bed room. However I've known him a long time and I think he was mostly worried that I was falling in love with Steven, again.

But I could never do that.

That night we sat down to dinner and the doorbell rang. Charlotte got up to answer it and I heard her squeal and exclaim from the door "Lolly?" I asked getting up. Half way there she came around the corner with Steven, following behind her. "Steven!"I said smiling.

"Hyde!" Rhys shouted running to him.

"Hey kid!" He said picking him up.

"Steven! What are you doing here?" I asked pulling my robe tight around me.

"I missed you guys and I thought, 'You know what I've never seen New York' so here I am." He said.

"Well how about joining us for a classic New York style pizza?" I asked.

"That sounds awesome." He said walking to the table.

And suddenly, our apartment had its sparkle back.

After we ate, we retired to the living room where we watched Tv. I sat on the love seat with Steven. Charlotte and River spread out on the sofa.

I was woken the next morning by a loud throaty noise and after a minute I realized someone had cleared their throat. I opened my eyes and saw Jude standing in the room beside the couch. I knew his stance and expression well. He was beyond angry. He was livid.

I jumped up after realizing I was laying on Steven and he had his arm over me. I felt like my husband just walked in on me having sex with another man. It was far from what happened but It felt wrong. "Jude!" I screeched.

"Dad?" Lolly asked.

He chuckled humorlessly. "I uh thought I'd bring breakfast and we could talk, but it seems I didn't bring enough.

Steven stood up."Uh. Jude. This is Steven. Steven, this is Jude." I introduced.

Steven stepped forward and held out his hand "Hey man, nice to meet you."

Jude stared at him a minute then took his hand. "Hey." he said, then looked at Charlotte. "Lol, why don't you and Rhys sort through this, pick out something to eat. I need to speak to your mother." He said looking at me pointedly.

I clasped my hands and walked to my bedroom and he followed.

HYDE

They just walked to the room and I joined Lolly and Rhys at the table. Lolly pulled out a muffin from the bag and handed it to River then she pulled out another one. Suddenly there instinctive shouting came from the back room. Lolly looked back toward the room and River dropped his muffin but I caught it before it hit the ground.

"Do they fight a lot?" I asked after a while.

"Never." Lolly sighed. "They have never screamed at each other before." she explained. "They've fought but never like this."

Just a sudden the yelling stopped. It was quiet for a while then Jude came out and walked up to the table. He kissed River on the head and squeezed Lolly's hand. He then walked away toward the door.

Lolly ran after him "Dad! Wait!" She said and disappeared.

She came back a few seconds later and sat back down. She had been crying.

I got up and went to the room Jude came out of. Jackie was crouched on the floor with her head on her knees crying.

I sat in front of her and pulled her to me. She melted into me a moment then pulled back standing up. "No." She said. "I.. this. This is so embarrassing. I'm so sorry." She said still crying.

"Don't be Jackie." I standing up.

"Lolly, Rhys." She said heading to the door.

I stopped her and pulled her to me. "They're fine."

"Steven." She whispered wrapping her arms around me.

We stood there for a few moments then she looked up at me. Before I knew what was happening I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers. She pulled back for a split second then pressed her lips back onto mine. I didn't hesitate before I deepened the kiss. A small moan escaped her throat as we kissed for the first time in 15 years. Before I could fully comprehend what was happening she pushed me away and stumbled back falling onto the bed. She scrambled to get back to her feet and when she did she bent over trying to catch her breath. She straightened back up slightly and pointed at me. "No. There will be none of that Steven! Our relationship has to be strictly amicable." She said.

I stepped toward her "Why? Why does it have to be, Jackie?" I asked almost pleading.

"Because Steven if I remember correctly our relationship was toxic, and I will not even consider it because it would devastate Charlotte if we broke up. She's who we have to think about now. I have to think about her and River and I can't put them through it.

I walked to her and grabbed her hand "Jackie I love you. I have always loved you and I have been waiting for you for over 14 years. You're finally back in my life and I can't I can't lose you again." I confessed.

She ran her fingers through my hair stopping on my cheek. "You won't lose me Steven. We have a daughter together, we will be in each others lives for the rest of hers." She said. "She deserves your full attention right now, you need to focus on getting to know her. Please, Steven, please don't let anything get in your way." She begged.

I searched her eyes for a moment looking for resolve, then glanced at her lips then back to her eyes. I nodded and backed away from her.

I went back into the dining room and sat down.

"Is Mom okay?" Lolly asked.

"Yes. Yes she is." I told her taking her hand. "Who wants to show me around New York?" I asked messing up Rhys' hair.

After Lolly and Rhys got ready I took them out for a while to give Jackie some time alone. First Lolly took me to the ARChive of Contemporary music. She said she spent most of her childhood there because it's where Jackie worked for years. She told me it was where she learned all about music. After dropping a few bucks we went to Museum of Natural History which was River's favorite place in New York. Lolly said he would most likely grow up to be an Archaeologist. She said he LOVES dirt.

For lunch they took me to their favorite restaurant in Chinatown where we had vegetarian Chinese. The restaurant we went to everyone knew them at. Everywhere we went everyone seemed to know them and know knew I was Lolly's real father.

After Chinatown River said we HAD to go to Coney Island but Lolly wanted to stop and see if Jackie wanted to go.

We stayed at Coney Island until closing time and watched the fireworks. We spread out on the grass and watched as they went of River had passed out as soon as he sat down and he was laid out on my lap and Lolly was on Jackie's. It was simple but I felt more at that moment then I had in my entire life. It was everything.

I wished I had more time with them but I didn't. I had to leave the next day. When we got back to the apartment I put River in his bed and kissed Lolly goodnight.

I sat down by Jackie in the living room and looked at her. "I'm sorry about this morning." She said. "Jude, he really is a good man he's just in a weird place. He doesn't know where he fits into Lolly and my life right now. He's lost and I don't know how to help him. He was already so angry and hurt that we all had so much fun in Pointe Place and the seeing you this morning made him explode." She explained.

I looked at her a moment longer then turned to the tv. "He thinks I'm going to replace him." I said.

"Yeah. He does." She confirmed.

"I don't want that. I know Lolly loves him, I may be her father by blood but he raised her. He will always be her dad." I said.

"I'm sorry." Jackie said taking my hand.

"Don't be Jackie. It's my fault. I should have been better to you back then." I said.

"Well, I'm sorry you had to find out at such an intense time in our lives." She said.

"No matter what it would have been intense rather you and Jude were still together or if you had been apart for years." I told her.

The next morning we ate breakfast then spent the rest of the morning together just watching tv and talking. After I said my goodbyes and promised to see them soon, I took a cab to Brooklyn.

I walked into Lennox Galleries and saw Jude right off. He was talking to a girl not much younger than Jackie but still young. They kissed and she walked away, then her saw me. He stared at me a minute the motioned for me to follow him.

I followed him up stairs and stopped halfway up when I saw a painting of Jackie. It was beautiful it was her in what looked like Asia wearing a yellow flowy dress with kids dancing around her. Next to it was another one. Her looking over her shoulder. It was so amazing it looked almost like a photograph. I shook my head and went into the room he went in, which was an apartment. "What do you want?" He asked.

I cleared my throat. "Look, man. I was just wanted to talk." I told him.

"Sit" he said when I followed him over to his couch. I sat and he sat across from me and lit a cigarette. "Talk."

I sat back and took a breath. "So here's the thing.. thank you." I said.

"He sat up putting his elbows on his knees, "For what?" He asked.

"For finding Jackie. Thank you for taking care of her all these years and for raising Lolly. She's amazing and I know some if that is you. You're her Dad and I want you to know I don't want to take them from you, I just want to get to know Lolly and I want to be friends with Jackie again, maybe even River. He's a cool, kid. I know this is a bad time but Lolly sought me out and now I can't just walk away. She loves you, they all do." I said.

He looked at me a second longer then sat back again. he put his cigarette out and looked back at me. "You're right, things are complicated right now but I do want Lolly to know you, it's not like I want to keep you from her. I won't get in the way with you getting to know her, but with one condition."

"Of course. Whatever it is." I said.

"You can't go after Jackie." He said.


	7. Begin Again

11:59

December 31st, 1994

In a penthouse apartment roof-top high above time square, champagne was flowing. Music and confetti from New Year's Rockin' Eve below, flew through the air dancing with the snowflakes falling around the celebration.

A celebration of a new year.

For Jackline Lennox, Formerly Burkhart, there wasn't any other place she would have rather been than right there on that roof top with her nearest and dearests.

Right there where she stood she felt it again.

Completeness overtook her.

Whenever it happened it was as time slowed to an almost hault. Everything and everyone moved in slow motion, slower really.

All in that one moment as the ball dropped she looked into the eyes of all her loved ones.

First she saw her friends, new and old getting to know each other.

Then she saw her son sitting before an audience wearing a top hat and using a party horn to make them all throw their head back in laughter.

Her eyes then slid to her nearly 15 year old hormonal daughter as she leaned into her crush as he whispered in her ear. Then to see her blush as he kissed her cheek softly.

Her eyes then passed her ex husband as he stopped mid conversation to glare at said crush.

Jackie stifled a chuckle as her mismatched eyes fell onto the icy blue eyes they had been searching for.

Jackie Burkhart's former lover Steven Hyde had at that exact moment seen everything that Jackie Burkhart had seen, except of course through different eyes.

He had seen the laughter and the kisses but it wasn't what Steven was looking for. No, it was her.

It was always her.

Just like it was after every moment of completeness ended, time speed up again and it was 1995.

Six months had passed since life did what it does, it changed for all the Lennox, and Hyde's. It had become fuller and happier. They were all happy after several rocky moments and extremely happy moments it seemed as if all was right in the world.

It was a new year.

May 1995

 **Lolly**

School had just let out and I was beyond ready for summer. Life had been magical the past 4 or five months. I had great parents, 3 great parents. Mom and Dad were on good speaking terms and Dad and well Dad were almost actually friendly with each other. Rhys was about to turn 5 and I had just turned 15. Poine Place was in our horizons and I couldn't freaking wait!

 **Jackie**

I had a week until the kids and I went to Pointe Place and I had never been more stressed in my life. Work was crazy and here I was leaving in the midst of the madness. Not to mention every time I saw Steven lately I got butterflies and goosebumps.I felt like, well Lolly. I felt like a 15 year old again, but without all the hair and hormones.

Al least this time there wasn't tension in the air. Jude had changed miraculously fast after the first time Steven came to New York. We had finally gotten to where I wanted to be. We were finally friends again. During our marriage it was the one thing we had that most couples didn't; a friendship. It was what I had missed most after the separation, really after Lolly found out. It was like Jude just vanished. Now he was back and I was able to remember what it was I loved about him, how kind he was. Is.

The biggest surprise was the he and Steven had kind of teamed up as a 2 dads in one combo for Lolly and sometime even Rhys. It was like they were on a sports team.

Lolly was happier than I had ever seen her. She was light and carefree, she packed for Pointe Place nearly two weeks before, and had been sitting on ready ever since.

The real question was; what am I going to wear to see Steven?

 **Hyde**

"No, the real question is; when are you going to ask her out already?!" Foreman asked. "I mean it's been almost 6 months since you told him you wouldn't chase after her-"

"And about 6 months since you lied and said you wouldn't." Donna pipped in.

"Right." Eric finished."I mean enough is enough, there is only so much gazing softly into one another's eyes, the world can take." He said dramatically.

"Yeah I thought the ball was going to explode from all the tension on New Year's." Kelso added. "It's like jeez just do it already!"

"Yeah." Eric agreed shrugging.

I rolled my eyes and stood up from the circle to leave. "Thanks for the input guys but I gotta go pick 'em up from the airport." I said heading for the Grooves door.

"Kiss her, Kiss her, KIss her…" Fez started chanting and they all joined as I shut the door on them.

Truth was I was nervous enough as it was. Jackie did that to me now, she made me nervous. She did before, but it was different, that was a lifetime ago.

The day Jude asked me to not go after Jackie I had agreed without hesitation. Not really because he asked me to but because, she had asked me to and if it made him feel better be think he was the reason why I was okay with that.

However, even though I promised them both, I still wanted her back and I had made it a priority to get her back. I wasn't sure how, but I would try.

 **Jackie**

We got off the plane and found Steven easily. When we locked eyes and he smiled at me my heart skipped a few beats.

"Hyde!" The kids exclaimed.

"Sup?" he asked, high fiving them.

He met me and leaned in to take mine and Rhys' bag from me. His hand grazed mine and my breath caught.

How could he still do this to me? It's been 15 years but my body still remembered every touch.

"Jackie" he said softly, kissing my cheek.

His house was exactly like how we had left it a year ago. Not a single difference.

We fell right back where we were, as well.

It felt like coming home after a long vacation which unnerved me a bit.

Before I knew it the kids were going off to bed and Steven and I were still spread out on the couch watching movies.

I was all wrapped up in While you were sleeping when he cleared his throat. "Jacks." He said, leaning closer to me.

"Hmm?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the screen.

He took my hand and ran his thumb across the back of it. "Do you remember that time I took you here and you made that picnic?" He asked.

I smile thinking back. It was the day I knew without a doubt I was in love with him. "Of course I do. Why?"

"I was thinking we could all do that tomorrow, go on a picnic down by the lake, like we used to." He said weaving his fingers through mine.

I couldn't ask why he was acting strange and I didn't untie our hands. I just enjoyed it.


	8. The Plan

**Lolly**

I had a plan this summer. It was my top goal; to get my parents together.

I knew they wanted to be together. I knew it every time they look at one another. I knew it from the way that they spoke softly to each other and how they smiled whenever the other one was mentioned. They still loved each other and Rhys and I, we're the ones to show them that again.

 **Step 1:** **Give them as much alone time as possible.**

I started this step with the help of The Foremans. They were very willing to help. They started by planning activities for all the kids. amusement parks and movies and concerts we would hardly have time to sleep let alone get in the way of love. No it would just be Mom and Hyde most of the summer.

 **Step 2: Plant seeds.**

This step consisted mostly of Rhys. I got him to talk to Mom about how great Hyde was, to talk him up. I knew it wouldn't take much to convince Hyde, he was already doing everything but shout it from the top of the water tower. I had debated if I should tell him my plan or not. I decided against it, I decided fate would be enough help.

 **Step 3:** **Pile on the romance.**

With this step I enlisted the help of Betsey and the rest of the, The Gang 2.0, but mostly Betsey. It started with the picnic they had planned for us yesterday. That's where the plan was born.

After the picnic yesterday, I got Betsey to come pick me up and we went to The Formans and advised my plan to everyone there. They were so excited to get started and he we were, Day 1.

Eric and Donna were taking us to Funland so I got up and got ready. When I walked downstairs Mom was making breakfast and Hyde and Rhys were sitting at the table reading the funnies. Rhys was already dressed and ready to go.

"Hey guys." I said as I walked to the stove to kiss Mom on the cheek.

"Mornin' babe." She said as she scrambled eggs.

"Morning, Lol." Hyde and Rhys said at the same time.

Mom turned to look at me and smiled. "You look so cute." She whispered, then winked at me.

She knew I had a small crush on Micha and while I had put in a bit more effort than usual, I was playing matchmaker for my parents, not myself.

I joined Hyde and Rhys at the table. "So, what do you too have planned for the day?" I asked as I poured a glass of orange juice.

"Well, I have to Grooves for a few hours, but then nothing." Hyde answered. Hyde had hired a new assistant manager early this year so he wouldn't have to work all day everyday while we were here this summer. He wanted to actually have some time with all of us.

"And I have to go to The Water Tower to meet the designer. Then I need to go meet the supplier." Mom said over her shoulder.

"Or you can both go meet the supplier." I suggested nonchalantly.

Mom walked to the table with the food and sat it on the table. She sat then looked over at Hyde. "I wouldn't mind the company." She said as she started Rhys' plate.

"Yeah?" Hyde asked as he began his own.

I smiled to myself as we dug in. So far so good

 **Hyde**

I was headed to The Water Tower, formerly The Hub to pick up Jackie. I hadn't been to The Hub since she left. Even as all the renovations were going on I stayed away. Fez was the one to do most of the meeting and dealing with the contractors and workers, sending pictures to Jackie and relaying what she said back to them. I don't know why I stayed way even after she came back into my life. I also wasn't sure why I was so nervous to be there now. Sitting in my car looking at the front of what was once my favorite place in Pointe Place I became even more nervous. I got out of my car and walked to the door I saw Jackie inside talking to another woman. I turned back to the parking lot and the memory of telling Jackie I had cheated on her came back to me.

I'm not even that guy anymore but that look of pain etched on her face still haunts me.

It all still haunts me.

I opened the door and it was as if I stepped back in time. Everything was different but it still felt the same.

Jackie looked up and smiled at me. She signaled to give her a moment and went back to talking to the lady.

I stepped through and the door shut behind me. It was bigger with booths and a few tables. I headed to where the bathrooms were and went through. it was different too, much cleaner. I was walking out when a place by the door stopped me. I went up to it and remembered.

Jackie had pulled me in here, I thought maybe we were going to actually do it in the bathroom, but instead she shuts the door and pulled me over to this same spot. I remember then I was so annoyed that she had written 'JB&SH4EVER' on the wall I considered breaking up with her. Hell I tried to break up with her but she changed my mind that same night. I came home to find her in my cot wearing the Zepplin tee i had given her. It was the first time she had ever worn it, and she looked breathtaking in it. I forgot all about breaking it off.

The bathroom door opened and Jackie came bouncing in. I looked up and saw her looking at the wall. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Why'd you keep this?" I asked.

She chuckled, "Well, that means a lot to me and I figured it would be cool for Lolly to see." She laughed full on and sighed. "God, remember how mad you got? I seriously thought you would dump me after that." She laughed again.

"I was going to. Then I came home to you in that fucking shirt and forgot the world existed. All i could think was 'Fuck I could wake up to this everyday'." I stopped and looked back at her.

She had a strange look on her face and suddenly took a deep breath and smiled. "We should be on our way to Madison, hmm?" She asked walking out of the bathroom.

We hadn't been on the road long, but she was unusually quiet. "Um, have you spoken to your parents lately?" I asked unsure if it was a good idea.

She looked over at me and shook her head. "No." She said. She turned back to the window, "I haven't spoken to either of them since before we broke up."

"I'm sorry." I said, wishing I hadn't even asked.

"It's okay.." She turned back, "Incredible luck we got in the parent's department, huh?" She asked.

I laughed ironically.

"Honestly, I missed the Formans more. It was hard not to call over the years." She said.

I was quiet a moment and the longer I was quiet the more pent up anger I've had for years crept back up. "You know... there were times I actually thought you were dead?"

She was so quiet I didn't think she heard me, then I felt her hand on mine. "I'm sorry you went through that, but I'm not sorry I did it." She said. "In the beginning I did have moments, before Charlotte was born, That I would drive not knowing where I was going and before I knew it I was passing a 'Welcome to Wisconsin' sign. That's when I decided to get as far away as possible if I was going to actually stay away." She finished.

"When you first left, I hated you for so long. Even after I kicked Sam out and Went to find you. After I moved out of The Formans, and after I got married again."

She nodded, "Yeah I was surprised that you had gotten married again." She said.

"That's another thing, how is it fair that you got to keep up with our lives and we sat here thinking you were dead?" I asked.

She chuckled softly. "I knew who to talk to. I mean I didn't just disappear. I stayed in touch with a few people, the ones that told me of your marriage and sent me clippings of you lives."

"Who?" I asked.

"Rhonda and uh.. Brooke." She said.

I swerved a little. "Br.. Brooke?!" I shouted a little louder that I meant to. "Brooke knew where you were?" I asked.

"No, not really. I only talked to her like once or twice a year and she didn't know where I was until after I moved to New York, and I never told her to keep it secret to just not say anything unless someone asked her. I would not have asked her to lie for me, but no one asked her." She said.

"She knew this whole time that I had a kid though and she didn't tell me. I mean I went over there all the time." I vented.

"She didn't know, Steven. I never told her about Lolly." She admitted. "Look Steven, I know you must have things you need to say, and honestly I'm so grateful you've resisted before now. However it isn't healthy for you to keep them bottled up so you can go ahead. Say what you need to."

I was going to say that I had nothing to get off my chest, but I was trying to be as open as possible now days. So I stay quiet for a while thinking of what I was going to say. "Over the years I would think about what I would say or do if I ever saw you again. If I would yell at you or just ignore you, if I would just be happy to see you alive. Then, then I decided that so much time had past that it didn't even matter anymore. There was no more we. I had no right to be angry at you anymore, that I was the one that hurt you. But, I loved you Jackie. Even after I married Sam, after you left, even now. I love you, and I most likely always will."


	9. In another life

**JACKIE**

I wished at that moment that I could be some sort of superhuman and transport out of that car. I hated this. Steven telling me he still loved me was not a surprise, no. What surprised and scared me was how amazing it was to hear. When we were together it was like pulling teeth to get him to say that, it was impossible at times. Now however it was the last thing that needed to be said. All I wanted to do was say it back, to pour my heart out to him and to rip my soul open and let him see the things I had been swallowing for over a decade, but I couldn't. I wouldn't.

I must have been quiet for quite a long time because he cleared his throat and looked over at me. "It doesn't have to mean anything, Jackie. I mean it could mean everything or nothing at all. You can make of it what you will, but I felt like I needed to say it. I feel like you deserve to hear it."

I thought it over for a while longer and before I knew it we were stopped in front of the supplier's building. We went and the man behind the desk put his paper down and when I realized who it was my jaw fell open.

"Roy?" Steven said from behind me.

"Hyde!" The ageing man shouted. He looked so different, scrawny and balding. He looked at me and smiled, "Jackie!" He said. "Man, what a surprise!" He laughed.

"Roy, man what are you doing here?" Steven asked him.

"I'm working!" He smiled, "Yeah I bought this place after the hotel closed. This is my supply store." He looked back at me and then to Steven. "Ahh, I knew you too would end up getting married! You tried to fight it, didn't you, Hyde! But she caught ya!" He shouted again.

"Oh no, we aren't married. Steven just came to help me. I bought The Hub and I need some appliances." I said.

"I heard someone bought The Hub." He said. "Hey! Do you guys wanna get a little toasted before we start?" He asked.

We had been here for an hour and a half and hadn't looked at any stoves or fridges. We were stoned, very stoned. Roy had some amazing film. The one thing that hadn't changed about Steven and one of the things I loved most was how he seemed to glow when he was high. Whenever he spoke of his passions, it was a beautiful sight. I had missed this.

I've smoked for years, I smoked a lot in Asia, hell they had festivals dedicated to marijuana. I smoked with Jude during date night while we were married, but I've never felt happier than the times I've done it alone with Steven, just him and I. I missed him. us.

Roy and I finally got around to supplies, while Steven laid in the back office.

"Man, I can't believe you aren't still together." Roy said, cutting my light happy mood in half. "I mean you were great together."

"Really? 'Cause we fought all the time, I mean there were good times but Steven couldn't stand me the rest." I said half joking.

"No man. He talked about you all the time. Sure most of the time it was because you did something to piss him off, but he loved you. As much as he could. I think most of what he complained about was all defense, keeping you as far as possible."

When we finished we were starving so we decided to stop to eat. I had been quiet since our encounter with Roy. I was still feeling unnerved by what he had told me. My emotions were running raw and I just wanted a break from them. I had spent years trying to forget Steven, to forget my feelings for him, which at this moment proved fruitless.

I was finishing up the last of my fries when he reached across the table and put his hand over mine. "Jackie?" He asked, softly.

I looked up at him, seeing worry stretched across his face. I looked at him then, really looked at him since what seemed like the first time since he's been back in my life. He still looked like him but he didn't. With all this talk of the past I think I've just been seeing him like he once was but now I could see reality. He had no curl to his hair it was barely even there, just a simple short style; a gentlemans cut. He had lines of stress, and remnants of worry around his eyes. He looked tired but the most surprising difference was the vulnerability that I would never have expected from him. Steven Hyde was not an open, vulnerable man. Steven Hyde was strong, unattached,, a stonewall unable to hurt, or at least he would never have let it show.

He truly was a different man.

The man whose eye I was staring into was pleading, begging me to open up to him, to show him what I was feeling, thinking. A look I was sure I had shown him a thousand times, during another life.

That's what it was. Our past was not a part of this lifetime. It wasn't even of this realization shook me. I felt as if I had just past between two worlds and had landed face first into a parallel universe.

The Steven Hyde in this universe was the Steven Hyde I had always wanted. The one I had longed. This petrified me.

 **HYDE**

She had been quiet far too long. She hadn't spoken a word in over an hour and I was scared. I know my admission before the store had shook her but it seems as if the seeing Roy again pushed her farther into her own head. I was afraid it would send her running.

"Jacks?" I tried again.

I seemed to have worked because she responded with a soft 'hmm?'.

"Are you okay?" I asked as the waitress slid the bill onto the table.

"What? Yeah, yeah." I'm fine." She said coming back to reality.

I could tell she was lying, but decided to let it got.

We got back on the road and headed back home when she sighed. "Steven. I need to say something to you." She started.

"Anything, Jackie. You can tell me anything." I said looking over at her.

She looked out the windshield then back to me. "Can you pull over?" She asked.

I didn't say anything just did as she asked. When I turned the car off she got out and started walking.

We were somewhere between Madison and Pointe place. It was near dark and there were no cars or people in sight, just wide open spaces. She walked through the clearing across the road and I followed her.

She stopped walking and turned to me. "Do you know what I do, Steven?" She asked, not expecting an answer. "All day long I deal with suffering. In America, in Asia, all over the world. I've seen pain. I've heard cries for help. I've seen this world at its ugliest..." She turned back around to the sunset and ran her fingers through her hair. "...and I've seen it at its most beautiful." She finished gesturing to the sunsetting in front of us.

She turned back to me and smiled, painfully. "You're not who you used to be, Steven. You've grown up. Evolved and for that I'm grateful because I used to worry about you so much. Even after I left, even if I had no right to, I still worried about you. Is he okay? Is he happy? Is he drinking too much? Is he letting people care for him?

When I heard you got married again I was happy for you. Did it hurt? Yeah it hurt a little but I was happy because I thought maybe he finally let someone in. Maybe he finally stopped resisting love. I always knew when you stopped fighting it would all be worth it. That's why I fought so hard to get you to let me in. I wanted so bad to be the parson to get in there." She said putting her hand on my chest, over my heart.

"I loved you so much Steven and like you told me I will always love you. Live is tricky. Choices are hard to make because they define not just you but the people around you. I chose to leave, though it hurt you, and everyone here, it save mine, our daughters lives, and everyone I would have never helped if I had not left. I would have never worked for non profit, I would have ended up in that salon sweeping hair and watching the love of my life spend his life hating me and my friends not being able to stand me. See? Those were my options and they both affected the people I loved and the people I didn't even know existed.

Now here we are again at and other fork in the road, faced with another choice to make. Should we or shouldn't we? Do you want me back?" She asked.


	10. Here

**Hyde**

"Rhys and I are headed back to The City for a while." Jackie told Lolly. Her and Rhys were sitting across from us at the dinner table. They had just finished telling us about Funland and what a great time they had, had.

Lolly dropped her fork and stood up. "What? Why?" She asked, incredulously.

"Charlotte, sit back down." I said, resting my chin on my folded hands. I was tired. It had been an emotionally wrecking day.

She looked at me with a scowl but proceeded to sit back down. "Why?" She asked again.

"Work needs me right now there is a lot going on and they need a decision maker and we will be back. The Water Towers opening is in a few weeks and so is Donna's birthday, but I'm needed in New York. Plus this will give you and your father some time alone." She finished, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"But.." Lolly started but Jackie shook her head and stood up.

"No but, Lolly. This isn't up for discussion. We will be leaving in the morning and we will be back in three weeks." She said taking the dishes to the sink.

 **Lolly**

It had been a week since Mom and Rhys left and I still had no answer as to what had changed to make her run back to New York.

"I just don't get it. I thought for sure our plan was going to work." Betsey said.

"What plan? The plan didn't even have time to take effect before she left." Zach said.

"Yeah, and poor Uncle Hyde, he seems so sad." Kat announced.

He did seem sadder the past week. He tried not to let it show, but I still saw it. We all did. I was confused. It was all going so well before Funland. Mom too didn't seem right, she acted cheerful on the phone, but I knew her way to well. However, when I would I ask her what was wrong she would just deny anything was wrong.

"I'm just tired of the lying and pretending." I told them, as we sat atop the water tower listening to soundgarden and passing a joint around.

"Tell them that, then." Micha said.

I looked over at him and smile that didn't quite reach it's full potential.

"I don't want to hurt them." I replied. "Mom is so sensitive and Hyde is just so.. I don't know. Vulnerable. I don't want to push it. I just want them to be honest."

"Maybe they're afraid to hurt you." Betsey said.

"Maybe." I said, thinking it over.

When I got home later that night Hyde was standing at the stove cooking. "Hey, kid." He said as he place plates on the table. "How was your night? Did you have fun at the movies?" He asked.

"Yeah. It was hilarious." I said.

"What'd you see Batman or Mortal Kombat?" He asked.

"Batman. We're going to see Mortal Kombat tomorrow." I said. "How's Grooves?" I asked.

"Good. Look what came in." He said pulling a CD from behind him.

I took it and started dancing up and down. "YES! Yes, yes!" I shouted going to hug him.

He laughed and pointed to the stereo. "Put it in." He said.

'This is the call' off Foo Fighters debut album started playing and I started jumping up and down again. "I've been waiting all year for this! Thanks Dad!" I said.

We both stopped what we were doing and looked at each other. It was the first time I had called him Dad. Other people had said, Your Father or Your Dad, but I had always called him Hyde. This was a milestone for us and I couldn't help but wish Mom was here for it.

 **Hyde**

I cleared my throat and looked back down at the silverware. "Of course." I said.

I wasn't the kind of man who cried often. Even as this new version of myself developed I hadn't cried much in my life, matter of fact I could count the times with three fingers. Two of them involved Jackie Burkhart. Speaking of. "Oh uh, your mom called right before you came in." I told her. "She wants you to call her after we eat." I relayed the short conversation that had transpired between Jackie and I.

"She did? Did you two talk about anything?" She asked, quizatively.

"No. She just said to have you call her after dinner." I answered honestly. I knew, as well as Jackie that Lolly was curious about us but I had promised her to keep Lol out of it.

"Uh huh." She responded.

After dinner Lolly went to her room to call Jackie as I cleaned up. After an house she came back down and plopped on the couch next to me. "How's New York?" I asked.

She looked at me and sighed. "Okay, I'm just going to risk it." She said sitting up and turning to me. :I have to ask you something". She said. "And I need you to be honest, like seriously. Please be real with me." She asked.

"Absolutely." I answered. "I've never lied to you and I'm not going to start now."

"Okay." She took a deep breath and asked. "What is going on with you and Mom, I mean one minute we're all doing great and the next she's running off to New York. Now you're both walking around acting happy and cheerful but the thing is I know it's bullshit. So what the hell is going on?"

I sat back and crossed my arms. "You want me to be honest with you, you being someone I care about, but if I am I'll be breaking a promise to someone else I care about." I told her.

"C'mon, I need to know. Please." She pleaded.

I thought it over a minute then saw the look on her face. She was truly worried, I sighed and closed my eyes.

"first you should know, everything is cool. No one is angry or hurt, okay?" She nodded and I continued. "Secondly, her leaving for a while was a mutual decision. Also you should know, I love your mother. I do, I have for a long time, but I've done a lot of stupid things in my life. All the stupid things added up has lessened her trust in me and that is fair. I know you hate this, that you want us all to be together, but we just can't. Your Mom has a life all her own in New York, and I have a life here. We can't just pretend to be one big happy family, it would never work." I said.

She stood up and crossed her arms. "So you're both just giving up?!" She asked, venom seeping from her voice.

"What? No. At Least, I'm not… I just want to give her what she wants. I want to do it her way." I said defeated. Truth was, I didn't want her to go, ever. I Wanted her here, them here.


End file.
